I always loved the change of seasons, especially the change to Autumn with its beautiful changing leaves and the crisp feel in the air.
These are the days leading up to the 3rd year that my husband passed. Now this time of year is so much more about a time of reflection. A reflection of where I was.
The past is so bittersweet. To think of never making a new memory again is hard. To re-live all the days before the last - trying to find one more thing that I may have forgot. A laugh, a hug, anything. Right now the sadness can be overwhelming. Generally, the anticipation to the actual day is harder then the day itself.
I have been trying hard to discover what a new dream should be. It has me stumped. I think and pray hard to know what direction my life should take and it still is not clear. So for now I continue to live days as they come. I know that I will get through this time. I have learned that I am a survivor. I am stronger then anyone else or even myself would have believed. I just wish it was easier.
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