Complicated?

I read an article in the NY Times that talked about grief and how the pain never goes away. They wrote about complicated grief - and in reading the article I could see myself in the description. They are adding the condition to the American Psychiatric Association's handbook for diagnosing medical disorders.

Everyone thinks that after a certain period of time that everything is OK and you move on - I think it is a coping mechanism for people so they don't have to think of there own mortality.

In the article it stated that complicated grief is an acute form persisting more than six months, at least six months after a death. Life has no meaning - no joy - its sadness - guilt - thoughts of death - negative emotions. At almost three years, I can tell you that there are times when I still feel these feelings. I think the time frame of saying you should be over grieving in six months is wrong.

At six months many of us are still in a fog - forcing yourself out of bed and trying to do anything resembling a normal activity. The day is long when you become an actor to make the others around you feel OK.

People need to be able to get help with dealing with loss. I know that counseling has been a big help in my life. But to put a time frame on a feeling is wrong. Do I think I am going to get better? I hope so. Do you think I will ever stop grieving? No - I know I never will.